Have you ever felt so passionate about something that you would be willing to sacrifice yourself? Have you ever cared so much about justice that you would give your own life to save whoever or whatever is being harmed?
I have felt that way.
I have been so broken hearted after reading about some horrible thing being done to humans or animals or the planet that I have literally stated out loud that I would gladly sacrifice myself for the cause. In fact, roughly two weeks before the event that caused life to change completely, I actually said that I would “give my life to save the world.”
The thought didn’t cross my mind again until a couple of days ago when I was doing some meditation to aid my newly-increased anxiety. I was practicing a type of meditation where I let the thoughts come in and out of my mind while I focus on my natural breath.
“Do you remember when you said you would give your life to save the world? And now look what’s happening.” My mind said loudly as my eyes blinked open and I forgot I was breathing to begin with.
Obviously, this is a hard thought to note and let go because it strikes a particular nerve and reminds me that I surely didn’t knock on wood when I said that. Why would I knock on wood? I didn’t think I would actually be in a position of sacrificing anything when I said that. But now here we are. In a time of completely and utter uncertainty where we are all out of control and waiting for answers, where the worry of death is actually palpable around the entire globe.
Thoughts flew around my mind while Fear sat and stared at me smirking with one eyebrow raised stroking it’s beard… waiting for a reaction.
And then it hit me.
I am sacrificing myself. We are all sacrificing ourselves.
We are sacrificing our old selves.
We are sacrificing the selves that spent hundreds of dollars in a weekend on food and alcohol, the selves that didn’t care enough of others, the selves that didn’t call grandma and grandpa and check in on their health.
We are collectively sacrficing the old us that we will likely, and hopefully, never be again.
The versions of us that took for granted a trip to the grocery store, a night spent with friends, or just generally standing less than 6 feet from a stranger are long gone.
Not to mention, we are doing this for the betterment of the planet. As we sit inside on the couch staring out the window or doing yoga or eating ice cream or whatever it is we do all of these hours of these days, the planet is healing. The birds are chirping, the sky is clear, the grass is green. Due to the lack of airplanes and cars, carbon emmissions are down drastically and finally Mother Earth is getting a chance to breathe and do some self care, herself.
Also, when it comes to injustice, I have a hunch that this is being taken care of, as well. With everyone being forced to stay inside, we are being given an opportunity to see ourselves and confront our fears face-to-face. No one can run from their shadows anymore, not even the most evil person. With this opportunity at hand, those who have let their fears turn them into monsters will hopefully heal and let their weapons down. Those who have considered humans as mere numbers are bound to feel the same unity as everyone else is feeling.
Now more than ever, we are realizing our Oneness. We are seeing our collective Self. We are discovering that we aren’t so different and that we are in this together.
So, as much as this is all so new and we are all so unsure and drifting through uncharted waters, we are also doing something huge as a group.
To the person reading this, give yourself a pat on the back. Actually, no. Give yourself a hug. If you have made it to a place where you can even read an article for fun right now, you have done some serious work. You have faced your fears today and I know this because you are still here, you are still alive and you are still pushing yourself along.
I have heard a lot that the worst possible outcome of all of this would be if we got to the other side unchanged. However, after what we have all been through internally with this already, I would say that is impossible.
Internal Divine 